I haven’t written much about my pregnancy Which is weird. Because I had full intentions of doing weekly belly updates & posting silly quips about how the baby was doing & the crazy cool symptoms pregnancy gives me.
I am 25 weeks along, which gives Evelyn a 50% chance of survival if she were born right now. Next week, it jumps to 80% (source). I am starting to breathe a little easier. Get a little more excited. And I am not terrified every minute, every twinge, every tiny cramp.
I feel, safer? That it is okay to start talking about her now because she is becoming more real & my chances of losing her are fading every day.
Losing Liam was the most difficult thing I have ever done in my lifetime. I miss him everyday. But I also thank him every day. Because I lost him, I was able to get some answers to what went wrong. Doctors discovered I have a blood disorder called MTHFR & that my cervix? Basically sucks an ass. I have an incompetent cervix, which basically means that once the baby gets too heavy, my cervix opens up & I go into labor. Liam was one pound, one ounce when he was born, so that shows you just how stupendous my cervix is.
Because of my MTHFR, I have to inject myself every evening with a blood thinner called Lovenox & I have to take a baby aspirin (along with my prenatal of course) to help coat my veins & keep blood moving throughout my body. You guys. This is so hard for me. I have to pep talk myself into my shot every night. It takes me at least a minute to work up the nerve to poke myself & push the medicine in. But I do it. It got Collin here safely & healthy. It will get Evelyn here, too.
If you follow me on Instagram, Twitter or FB, you know I had to have a cerclage put into my cervix as well. It’s not a fun procedure for anyone, much less a worried pregnant woman. You are admitted into the hospital, hooked up to IV fluids, then wheeled into the operation room where you get your spinal & then have your legs strung up like a turkey being basted for Thanksgiving. You lay there, paralyzed, legs in the air, with your ungroomed, swollen pregnancy choch out for everyone to see, worrying. Hoping the doctor doesn’t slip or that you don’t go into premature labor (the biggest risk of the surgery). The whole surgery takes about 30 minutes & then your paralyzed self is taken down from the turkey basting straps & wheeled back to your room where you wait for your spinal to wear off. You can go home once you eat without throwing up, stand & pee. I was never more excited about a pee in my life. Except for maybe the pee I took after Collin’s cerclage was put in.
I’m blessed this time around because this ain’t my first rodeo. I had to go through all of this with Collin & it does give me a sense of security knowing it all worked with him. But it is still very hard on me mentally & emotionally.
This post is all over the place, I know. I just needed to write & get some of this out.
But here’s to 26 weeks being right around the corner & happier, more frequent blog posts about Evelyn’s pregnancy!